I am mad!!
Mad at all the people who are sending pregnancy announcements
Mad at DH
Mad at all those people who didn't support our pregnancy (ended in pre-term labour) 10 years ago because in their minds it wasn't the right time
Mad at my mother who never has the time to be supportive but all the time in the world to share the latest family gossip
Mad at my bosses for working me like an indentured servant
Mad at the doctors quick to prescribe more drugs before doing a holistic evaluation of my entire body
Mad at the bureaucracy that is requiring me to take costly accreditation exams to prove my competency
Mad at the university providing review sessions for those exams and providing a "constitutional" lecturer who claims that PM Harper is head of State....WHAT!!!!!! Have you even read the damn constitution?
Mad at all the people who say ...RELAX it will happen
Mad at my 22 yr old cousin who is now pregnant!!
I am mad that in the New Year I will be paying another woman to carry my child
Yes I am very mad but underneath all that madness is an incredible sadness that is overwhelming, a sadness that brings me to my knees.