"Cast your fears on God and he will sustain you..." (Psalm 55:22)

"For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I am mad!!

Mad at all the people who are sending pregnancy announcements
Mad at DH
Mad at all those people who didn't support our pregnancy (ended in pre-term labour) 10 years ago because in their minds it wasn't the right time
Mad at my mother who never has the time to be supportive but all the time in the world to share the latest family gossip
Mad at my bosses for working me like an indentured servant
Mad at the doctors quick to prescribe more drugs before doing a holistic evaluation of my entire body
Mad at the bureaucracy that is requiring me to take costly accreditation exams to prove my competency
Mad at the university providing review sessions for those exams and providing a "constitutional" lecturer who claims that PM Harper is head of State....WHAT!!!!!! Have you even read the damn constitution?
Mad at all the people who say ...RELAX it will happen
Mad at my 22 yr old cousin who is now pregnant!!
I am mad that in the New Year I will be paying another woman to carry my child

Yes I am very mad but underneath all that madness is an incredible sadness that is overwhelming, a sadness that brings me to my knees.


  1. :( It doesn't help that the holidays are just around the corner. I wish I had some kind and encouraging words but I've spent many years in the same anger as and the only thing I can equate it to is dealing with the stages of loss. My heart goes out to you.

    From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
    Psalm 61:2

  2. The true is it all sucks. Most people don't realize how lucky they are to snap their fingers and be PG.

    I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this, and the holidays coming make it worse. I'm thinking of you always

  3. It is all maddening.
    Here from La Creme

  4. You have every right to be mad.

    (here from cdlc)