Post IVF#1

Today we saw our RE to discuss our options and protocol for IVF#2. I am just exhausted with the entire process and ready to explore the idea of a gestational surrogate. However given that we have completed only 1 IVF, RE was pushing for us to do another and possibly a 3rd before going the route of Surrogacy. It is quite an expensive route and has several different components such as the level consequences, medical consequences and the psychological aspect; all of which combine to make for a very trying time. For these reasons, his advice was to hold off on the surrogacy. After the appointment, we spent the afternoon in the Park. Fun but lots of walking and now I am totally pooped.

FIFA 2010

As a woman of West Indian birth and descent, somewhere in my ancestry there were African slaves and today as I watched the FIFA opening ceremony, my eyes welled up with tears of joy for the people of that country, tears of hope for all the people of that country. The smiles on their faces were so bright and full of joy, I am going to channel that hope and joy for our next cycle and tell myself that we can do this. In some ways I am afraid to admit how emotionally draining this experience has been…my soul and spirit has been truly broken but in the words of Maya Angelo “I Rise” and I wil continue to RISE and I will be a mother. God does not give us more than we can bear and I trust that like Hannah and Sarah, I too will bear fruit in my “old age”.

Decisions

After much soul wrenching and meditating, I have decided that shortly after I find out that I am preggo, I will be taking a leave of absence or quitting my job so as to give the pregnancy the most optimal environment. This was a very tough decision to make. I am very independent and love making my own money but given my circumstances, I think it is the best available option.