Update

We now have 2 potential surrogates. One with whom we are the "preferred client" and the other we are "numero 2" and a conversation later today will determine whether we become number 1.

Surro 1 is the one mentioned in my last post who according to my RE is too thin to start a surrogacy. Apart from the "weight" she is a very personable and easy going young woman and there are no apparent red flags. She is very willing to try and gain weight and has already started seeing a nutritionist to help her along this path. The nutritionist has advised her to first obtain a full workup from her family doctor and suggested some specific tests that would give some insight as to why her thyroid is not functioning properly. Once he has that information he would then be able to properly create a diet that would help her gain weight. We are thrilled that she is taking this positive step and will support her as much as possible.

Surro 2 is mum of 2, married and had a tubal ligation at last pregnancy. She is currently in talks with other IPs based in Europe. She has been very honest in always letting us know about their existence but also wanted to talk to us before she made her final decision. We have a phone call planned for later this evening. Again no red flags but with this surro it feels as though we are bidding on a house that everyone wants ...and the highest bidder always wins. If the decision were left to my husband that would be us but I have no desire to incur huge and preventable debt.

Depending on who you ask our relationship with "nasty agency" has taken a turn for the worst or the better. Got an e-mail saying that because we had registered with another agency that there was a conflict of interest and that they could no longer work with us...BULLSHIT. There is nothing in our agreement that prohibits us from working with another agency especially since under the terms of our agreement they had 6 months to provide us with a surrogate that led to an executed contract and at the end of that our money was to be returned minus an administrative fee. We also believe that the e-mail was her responding to us deciding not to meet with a potential surro that she had sent us. This individual was on antidepressants and was not willing to stop. Was this selfish of us to ask her to? Maybe but though many studies said there was no danger to a pregnancy, an equal number also quoted an increase risk of miscarriages. This information plus the knowledge that her last surro journey had ended in a miscarriage at 13weeks made us rather uncomfortable.

To any Canadians who may be following my blog be very wary of any agency who practices boiler room tactics, the oldest game in the book "you have to choose now or we're going to pass her on to another parent".

Back in the saddle

The search resumes for a surrogate. We are really hoping to use an independent surrogate this time around and avoid the debacle we had last time around. We have met with one potential surrogate thus far and though she seems nice, there is some reservation about her weight and possible thyroid issues. I have emailed my RE with just some basics hoping that he will provide some feedback regarding these issues and whether she should probably first be screened by her family Dr. I hate the possibility of paying another $1500 to screen someone who we may then be told is unsuitable and could probably been eliminated from the onset with screening done at the family doctor level.

This whole process is so damn frustrating!! In the last few weeks there were many moments where I simply wanted to walk away from all this...no I am not considering suicide...just a new life with different goals and expectations and maybe adoption...something my husband is yet to embrace.

BFN

Jimmy, Benny, Garry and Mikee are gone...

Life without children

I read this post on KC's site and it broke my heart because I realized that I too would lead a less than full life if we're never able to be parents. When our son died a few years ago, a part of me was lost for ever. A light went out that day and it may never shine again. KC, I echo your pain and I pray that you and I and the numerous men and women who long to be parents have our prayers and dream fulfilled.

You can read KC's blog by following the link below.

http://kcoryfertility.blogspot.com/2011/05/could-life-go-on-without-kids.html

lucky 4

The quads are in...yes we did 4. Given my age it is unlikely that more than 2 will implant, in fact the probability that none will is probably the highest but we are trying hard not to think in such negative terms. They were grade 2, 8-cell and 1 9-cell. I had 2 sessions of acupuncture, one before and one after. Another is scheduled for Saturday.

Now we pray and have faith. TMI alert---horrible constipation so off to make a ANOTHER prune smoothie :)

Harvest

Retrieval was today. I do not recall much of the procedure but I was very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain pre retrieval. Now recovering and feeling quite sore. Transfer is planned for this Wednesday but we're hoping that we could move that to a 5 day.

27 eggs were harvested so I am drinking lots of Gatorade and Ensure and eating lots of salt to ward off OHSS.

Off to prepare the first PIO shot. Let the fun times begin :(

HCG shot

Just administered my HCG shot. Eggs are definitely cooking. Despite my fears of bloating and discomfort, the cycle has for the most part been comfortable. ER is scheduled for Sunday at 11:30am and transfer a few days later. Hoping for a 5 day but that would depend on the results of the fertilization.

I pray that this is our year, that this mother's day will find us celebrating.

Now back to bed...feeling horrible, battling a cold, awful timing.